


How to play the game

by Fayet



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Azkaban, Damn that snake, Dark Magic, Dark Severus Snape, Dialogue Heavy, Did I meantion dark?, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Mild cussing, Morality discussed, Out of Canon/Post-Canon, Short One Shot, Smoking, Stand Alone, What-If, fix it but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-17
Updated: 2016-11-17
Packaged: 2018-08-31 13:09:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8579782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fayet/pseuds/Fayet
Summary: Voldemort is dead, his Death Eaters fallen or in Azkaban, and everything is well again. Lucius Malfoy awaits his fate at the hand of dementors, every day the same routine of darkness and dirt. But there are things that remain to be explained, and it takes a rather unexpected visitor to fill in some gaps and push Lucius towards a revelation he hadn't quite expected.If everything is just a game, who wins? And on whose side are you, anyway?





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is out of canon, for either books or movies. This is also out of most pieces of "fanon", and out of my own "canon" as I developed it in the "Those who favour fire"-series. It's a stand alone piece to allow me to toy with the characters in a way I haven't in a long time, a finger exercise if you will. I used to write mainly one-shots and then stopped, and somehow I needed to do it again. 
> 
> A friend complained that nowadays there is hardly anyone left who is really evil in most works of fiction. I tried to fix that, just a little bit. There are a lot of ways to fiddle around with Snape - most paint him to be a bit sad for something he's lost, slightly pathetic, or - in my usual interpretation - really damaged and angry. But what if he's neither? What if he's, maybe, just as dark as the first books make him look? What if he likes the game? We shall see. Let's play..

# ***

He listened to the steps of the guard coming closer to his cell, slowly, unexpectedly. Confused he tilted his head, eyes fixed to an invisible spot somewhere on the other side of the rough stone walls. It wasn't evening yet, night hadn't fallen outside, even though he could discern it was late afternoon by the way the pale light shone onto the dirty floor through the small holes in the thick walls. He wasn't being offered another round of the disgusting slipslop they called food here, so there was no need to poise himself to create the picture of sneering rejection just yet. Really, what was the point to feed him? He had heard his sentence already. It was a waste to still nurture his body, and yet they did, would forcefully continue to do so, until the day would finally - but his thoughts were disrupted by the guard stopping in front of his door.

The spells closing his cell were lifted, and he felt the shift in the magical atmosphere with a shudder of appreciation. He knew that not all of these spell were coded to simply hold the door close. They also kept him tired and silent, deprived him of the glorious power usually soaring through his veins, a feeling he had lost when he had first come here and knew he'd never regain.

With a jerk the door was opened, and he saw the growling visage of the man guarding him. There were others, of course, but this was his primary guard, a small, stocky wizard in dirty robes, with the same sour expression on his face every day. Half a year ago he would have kicked that sorry creature straight off this island into the cold water without a second thought. But now the tables had turned, and the lowly ones had come to reign.

"You have a visitor."

The voice was screechy in his ears, and the words didn't make sense. He couldn't have a visitor, there must have been a mistake. Nobody could come, nobody was left, and the press wasn't allowed into Azkaban. Narcissa was gone, and nobody else - the boy couldn't, surely? No, they wouldn't make him see this - and there was nobody left otherwise.

"A visitor?"

The guard snickered in return. "Surprised, are we. Get up and move, I haven't got all day."

He banged a fist against the rusty metal of the door, and Lucius got up without asking again. Moving slowly down the corridor, followed by his guard and the promise of a very painful curse if he were to object or try anything he walked into the direction of the room he had only very rarely been in. All his allies had fallen or turned away, and he knew that he should have known, could have known, but he hadn't. Defeat had never been an option until it had become bitter reality.

They turned a corner,and there was a door which slowly swung open - a magical push into his back and he stumbled into the room. It was bleak, just like the remaining cells and rooms, lit only by the light from a skylight which was probably only lightened by magic instead of actual daylight. There was a table and two chairs, facing each other. Another door at the other side of the room, probably leading to the corridors visitors would be lead through, corridors with windows and less mould and dirt, without the scent of despair and fear and hatred. He knew. He had been there before, a long time before he had slipped onto the other side and gotten lost for a world he had tried to rule.

Behind him the heavy door slammed shut, spells immediately up, locking it firmly. Taking a few steps into the room he stopped at the table and looked down onto it before carefully sitting in the chair placed there for him. It felt good to sit straight, on a proper chair and not on one of the benches in his cell. The tabletop in front of him was empty, but clean. Brushing his right hand over it he felt the grain of the wood, an uneven texture, yet softer than anything he had seen in the last weeks. Lost in contemplation for a moment he didn't immediately realise that the other door had opened, noiselessly besides its substantial weight. Then he looked up and stared in disbelief.

HIs visitor didn't seem surprised, wandering into the room with all the carelessness a free man could demonstrated towards one bound. With less than three steps - Lucius counted them, every single one - he was by the table, pulled out the chair and sat down. Leaning back with the chair pushed away from the table, long legs crossed at the ankles he looked for all the world completely at ease, obnoxiously confident in a place conjured up to break the spirit of all of them. Dark eyes regarded Lucius, curious yet unreadable, looking him up and down, in all his destroyed glory. It hadn't needed the slight smirk to remind Lucius what he looked like, and it tipped him over the edge. He didn't have patience for games these days.

"How are you even alive?"

Of course he knew, in theory. But it was one thing to hear that someone who had died in front of his very eyes was actually alive and another to see him again, watch him breathe, inhale and exhale slight movements of thin shoulders under black fabric. With practised ease Lucius' eyes carded over his body, taking in all the angles and edges he was used to. He looked good, much better than he had for a long time. Dressed in elegant yet discreet black, dark hair longer now and tied back, revealing the myriad of scars sneaking down the thin neck and vanishing into an impossibly white shirtcollar.

"Is that your idea of a warm welcome?"

And some things hadn't changed. The thin face with the crooked nose, dark eyes almost bottomless and completely unreadable, and the silky baritone, echoing off the stones in the empty room, crawling into Lucius' mind without being stoppable. So very familiar and yet strange, a formidable weapon in the hands of an undeserving imbecile.

"If you want a warm welcome you have to go somewhere else."

He sounded much more defensive than he had wanted to, but it was undeniable that he wasn't in a good position to dominate their conversation. Severus only laughed, almost sottovoce and hollow, without a hint of actual joy.

"Indeed, quite a draughty hole you got yourself here. Enjoying your stay?"

Cruelty hidden in velvet, but Lucius was used to much worse. Superiority had always tinged much of what he had felt towards the younger Slytherin, and it wasn't going to go away anytime soon. Especially now that he had heard what role his former confidant had actually played in the war.

"Enormously. I see they let traitors go free these days."

The small smile on Severus' thin lips only grew without ever touching his eyes. But he shifted in his chair, only slightly, rising one hand ostensibly to brush a strand of black hair out of his face. Before he let it sink again he turned his bony wrist in a circle, long fingers moving covertly. Lucius was sure that the spell was already clandestine enough in itself and still covered in layers of cloaking, almost invisible to detect from the outside. But he was used to Severus' magic, attuned still after all these month, and he felt the twist for a second before it brushed over him and melted along the walls. There was more power involved than Lucius would have deemed necessary, but he wasn't easy to impress.

"Am I supposed to comment on that?."

Severus only shrugged, dropping his hand. "I prefer privacy."

Now leaning back himself, his body aching from all the month condemned to stiff stillness Lucius wondered why. He didn't really understand the point of all of this. There was no reason for Severus to be here beyond mere gloating, and no reason at all to cast a spell strong enough to shield them from the necessarily spying eyes while at the same time hiding itself. They had nothing to talk about, anyway. Everything had been said and done. Frustrated he crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"Why the hell are you here? To enjoy the view? Savour the fact that you put your money on the right horse? Revel in your moral superiority?"

He had spoken with more anger than he wanted to express, but then restraint be damned. He had nothing to loose anymore anyway. His little speech had, however, amused Severus greatly, if a man as expressionless as he was would show humour anyway. Still leaning back in his chair he patted his jacket down, and retrieved a pack of cigarettes. Pulling one out he snapped a finger, lightning it with a small green flame and leaning back, taking the first drag. Following Lucius' hungry eyes he shrugged, and slid the packet over the table.

Fumbling with sudden greed Lucius pulled a cigarette out, and slid the package back. Catching it easily Severus replaced it into his jacket. Then he looked up, and Lucius gestured impatiently.

"Light it, will you."

He watched the quick connections Severus made and realised that he hadn't known that Lucius' magic had been bound. For a second Lucius watched him calculate, clues to his rapid thought process only visible to those who had spent a very long time watching him. Then he shrugged, and leant over the table. The small green flame appeared again on his bony thumb, and Lucius held the tip of the cigarette into the light. Their closeness felt strange for a moment, hands near enough they could have touched. For a split second Lucius remembered everything he had done to these always cold hands, this body, back in time when things were still the way they were supposed to be. Then his cigarette was lit and Severus drew back, hands vanishing again from reach.

A deep breath later Lucius' lungs were filled with biting smoke, and it felt good to finally clear himself from the must and dirt, replacing it with something no less filthy but at least voluntarily absorbed. Trying not to look like an addict he calmed his drags, looking leisurely, in control. Severus was still watching him, unblinking, and for a moment Lucius felt the fear of someone who had no mental shields at his disposal confronted with a gifted and ruthless legilimens. But there was nothing in the air, no magical impulse tapping against his mind. Severus remained closed up, distant. He wasn't reaching out.

"You were about to tell me why you are here. Are you going to indulge me with a lecture in morals?"

And again Severus' reaction was far different from what Lucius had expected to provoke. He took a deep drag and exhaled, smoke rising to the ceiling of the room. Then he smiled, this time obviously honestly amused.

"Morals? That wouldn't necessarily be my strong point."

The cigarette between his own dirty fingertips Lucius frowned.

"The mugglelovers seem to think differently. Aren't you their unsung hero, the undercover saviour?"

He spat the last words out, anger rising in him like bile. Severus was still smiling. It did nothing to make him look more human.

"Hero might be a bit too pompous. And I did turn down that Order of Merlin."

It took all of Lucius' restrain to keep him on his chair. He knew there was no way he could cause Severus the harm he wanted to inflict without anyone rushing into the room, if he would ever even get that far. But the hint of bragging in Severus' voice was just too much.

"Now did you. Humble, suddenly?"

He put as much hatred as he could into his voice, a threat he could never make good on and still needed to at least hint at. Severus, taking another drag from his cigarette, shrugged.

"How would it look to be boasting after spending all these years hidden away? Would destroy the entire pretty picture."

Surprised Lucius blinked. He hadn't expected that, and not uttered so matter of factly.

"You betrayed us to them, there's nothing to pretend anymore. If we just had known - "

Looking ever so slightly like a snake Severus held his angry gaze easily and unblinking.

"Ah, but you did not know. Such a pity for you. You thought I was on your side all these years, believing everything I showed you."

Snorting Lucius tapped the ash of his cigarette, watching the burnt flakes fall to the ground. "Just like they believe everything you're saying now?"

Inhaling deeply into his lungs Severus nodded before exhaling and watching the smoke rise to the ceiling.

"Exactly."

His voice had dropped from amused to a matter-of-fact coldness, and Lucius couldn't help but frown.

"What are you trying to tell me? Let's get it over with the sermon, for the righteous have won and glorified you shall be. And then fuck off and let me rot here in peace."

Tipping the ash off his own cigarette Severus straightened himself in his chair and then leant forward, hands folded together, cigarette between long fingers.

"The righteous have won?" He looked sceptical and then suddenly seemed to realise. "Oh, Lucius, you dumb twat. Really, I thought you would know better. Of all people!"

Shaking his head he looked at Lucius, his angular face all pity. Irritated Lucius sucked on the cigarette, inhaled too much smoke and had to cough. When he caught himself again he straightened his sore back and stared right back.

"Know better? What?"

Sighing with an expression of hopelessness Severus sank back in his chair, his usual flair for drama breaking through for once.

"Come on, you can't be so dumb to imagine that morals play a role here. Really? Doing what's right and good? Me?"

He seemed amused again about that notion, but the smile was gone from his face as soon as it had appeared.

"Please, how insulting. I choose the side I fought on because it was logical. What point is there in fighting a war you're bound to loose? That would be idiotic."

Speechless Lucius stared at him.

"How did - what?"

Apparently openly surprised by Lucius' reaction Severus stared back. "More words, Lucius, and I'll understand what you're trying to tell me. And, while you're at it, tell me why you didn't leave when you could. It didn't have to end like this."

Emphasising his last words with a swooping motion around the blank room he looked again at Lucius, face molded into an expression of curiosity Lucius knew to be dangerous. That was the first thought shooting through his mind and the feeling of danger prevailed while he still frantically tried to scramble for understanding, putting together information, much slower then usually after weeks of numbness. He could only get one question out, instead of a reply he had no idea how to form.

"On whose side are you?"

Disappointed Severus shook his head slowly. "Really, again? Didn't I just tell you? Once more, for clarification - what side do you think one has to be on to get somewhere in this life?" He made a motion as if to point out that it was so very obvious, that even a child would understand it.

"Your own?"

Sighing Severus dropped his burnt out cigarette to the ground. "No, you fuckmuppet, the one that wins. How can you be so slow? Did they lobotomise you in here? I really don't remember you being so thick. Memory must be tainted."

He knocked against his own head, brushed a hand through his hair and then fished a new cigarette from his jacket. Lightening it and taking the first drag was one motion.

"The snake bite did some harm, didn't it?"

Allowing more malice in his voice than he usually displayed he smirked. The memories of the moment were still so clear, vivid in his mind, his feelings still torn between the joy of victory over a rival and desperation over the loss.

"Wasn't a joyride, but the things one has to deal with."

Lucius' own cigarette had grown cold in his hand. "He should have used a curse."

There was a small smile tugging at Severus' thin lips, and a sudden triumph in his eyes. "Yes. But he didn't."

Realisation creeped over Lucius' very slowly, like cold hands brushing down his back.

"You knew. Antidote? I didn't know there was one. What a high stakes gamble."

The smile remained on Severus' lips even as he leant back again, more relaxed now. "Helps to be handy with a cauldron, you know. And of course there's always a bit of luck to it."

It was the underestimation of the century, but Lucius wasn't going to fall for it.

"So let me sum that up - all of the things you're now praised for, you did them for your own ambition?"

Severus nodded matter-of-factly. "Of course. And so did you, and everyone else. We got caught in the game and played it, each to their own ability."

The insult was clear, but something else annoyed Lucius much more. "You are wrong. There was a reason, a cause - our master -" But Severus cut him off, voice hard and unrelenting.

"Please, Lucius, spare me. Tom Riddle is dead, Dumbledore is dead, all are but ashes and dust. How can you so dumb to tie your fate to one man? It's all just hollow words in the end."

He looked at Lucius with something that would look like compassion on any other man, and simply echoed of cold distaste on him.

"For us it wasn't - it can't have been for anyone else - "

Again Severus shook his head slowly. "Poor man, you are utterly confused. It was a game, just a silly little game, pulling strings, gaining the upper hand, moving pawns, sacrificing them. Just that, nothing else. Don't take it too hard."

The cold kept crawling up Lucius' spine, anger rising but being overwhelmed by his shock.

"A game? It was never a game! We killed for our cause, yes, and it was a righteous cause - "

Clicking his tongue Severus took another drag. "Please, you sound like one of them. All this ridiculous rhetoric, doing the right thing, yada yada. You know, it's almost believable when I look at you like that - "

He stopped in the middle of his sentence, observing Lucius intently for a moment. Then he nodded slowly, exhaling smoke.

"I see now."

He dropped the cigarette to the ground as well, grinding it into the dirty floor with the tip of his heavy black boots.

"You actually believed in all of that. I never thought - but you do. And that's why you didn't ever come." Drumming his fingertips on the tabletop for a second before realising the movement he dropped his hand flat onto the table, pale fingers spread out, dark gaze fixed on them. "I was waiting for you, you know, for a while. Thought you'd get it one day. How silly."

In a fluid movement he got up and turned towards the door, moving slowly away from the table. "I see there's nothing more for me to say."

"Severus!"

He considered jumping up from his chair, but the tiredness in his body was suddenly so heavy that he couldn't move.

"No, nothing more. I've seen enough, and I guess we all make mistakes. Don't we?"

He turned, looking over his shoulder. And the smile on his face was back, small and yet dangerous, making Lucius question Severus' sanity for the first time in all of these years.

"Mistakes? What are you even talking about? All of this is over, Severus."

It was rare that Lucius considered himself the voice of reason, but right now he felt utterly grounded compared to his old friend and former lover. But his appeal only made the smile on Severus' face glide into another register of unhinged.

"For you it is, yes. But for me - " he held out a hand, for a second twisting a strand of blinding green light between his fingers, pure magic that Lucius knew to be anything but friendly. He held his breath, expecting the curse. Set to die from the way he was scheduled to die soon was one thing, but dissolving into nothingness hit by pure power another - and he yearned for that final explosion, suddenly. Just for one more moment being filled by that glorious dark power, feeling it sizzle in his veins and then take him out into darkness, it seemed just like the right way to go.

"Do it."

He hadn't expected his voice to follow his orders, and it only produced a small whisper, hoarse and barely audible. But Severus had heard him. For a second his face seemed to soften. But then the moment was gone and the green light vanished.

"You haven't learnt a thing, have you."

It took him few purposeful strides to cross the room, and suddenly he was in front of Lucius, and there was not enough strength in Lucius to resist. He felt his body melting into the familiar closeness, raised from his chair by - he couldn't tell. His own will, maybe, or a spell pulling him up? Nevertheless they were suddenly close, Lucius' unsteady and dirty hands clinging to heavy fabric, long fingers brushing through his matted blond hair with soft determination, thin lips on his. Routine kicked in immediately, despite everything, and the walls fell away for a second. Victory and defeat seemed to blurr and suddenly Lucius could see in his mind what would have happened if he had just known how to play the game, known better how to betray and manipulate, known to kill everything and never waver in his path. But he hadn't, had thrown his lot in for reasons he thought to be legitimate, fought for something he had thought was the right thing to do.

He was falling into the twists and coils of his own mind when Severus pulled back, only to allow Lucius to sink against him for a second, hands still spread over the thin body. The voice in Lucius' ear was but a deep whisper, velvet on his senses.

"What a pity."

And then the moment was gone far too soon, the only thing that remained the cold surrounding Lucius' body again, air between his fingers and nothing else, and Severus on the other side of the room by the door, looking coldly at his dazed reverie. Then he moved a hand, lifting the spell that had kept the room sealed, and knocked on the door to signal for the guards to fetch him.

In a sudden haze of panic Lucius lifted a hand, not really reaching out, but gesturing towards him.

"Severus!"

But he only shook his head, slowly, and turned towards the door as it swung open.

"Goodbye, Lucius."

Then he walked out of the room, and the door slammed shut with the screech of metal hitting stone. The ugly noise echoed through the blank room, bouncing off the walls before it died away. Lucius still stood next to his chair, alone now, and his hand feel down again uselessly.


End file.
